Sometimes I think that marriage is wasted on the young . The qualities that ensure a happy marriage are most of us started to dominate only after passing through many painful lessons of life. I did not marry for the first time until I was 53, and this time I had experienced many rocky relationships , he was "forced" to learn to be a better woman .
The pain was my greatest teacher . Finally stopped using it as an excuse to feel sorry for myself and I started to pay attention to how I was asked to change . The arrogance of youth egocentric and kept me wanting to go my way very relations. For a long time I neglected to cultivate and nurture the qualities required for a healthy marriage.
Here are five qualities that began to explore and develop myself. I could write a book on each , so I'll touch on briefly . To me, they are all necessary for a happy and healthy marriage components.
1 ) . open-minded
"I consider new ideas without prejudice. " When you're used to running his own life in his own way , which can be very unpleasant when you are suddenly living with someone who has different interests and different opinions than you . You can start to think, "I can not believe he thinks it is a good way to spend your time " or these things are easier to tolerate before "why do you react always this way , has no sense. " Marriage, then you tend to take a more personal way .
One of the main causes of conflict in marriage is the belief that everyone should think and feel the same way about everything. It is difficult to accept or respect the point of view of another person , especially when that seems totally unacceptable .
You may feel compelled to correct his partner, highlighting why they think wrong and why what you think is right. How someone can easily change your mind about something saying that you are wrong ? This form of persuasion never works.
Open-minded does not mean judging what is good for someone else based on what is good for you. It requires that you pass the judgment of good and evil aside and accept and appreciate a different point of view.
2 ) . commitment
" A settlement in which each side makes concessions . " If you have lived alone for a long period of time can lose sight of what it is like not to go out with her. I lived myself for 20 years before getting married , so I can not imagine how comfortable it was made my own decisions. With no one to answer , I fell into a state of mind which made me unconscious ease that I had . Even when he was in a relationship that still had the power to choose and I lived on my own terms .
If you were like me or live with her boyfriend , engagement in most decisions , if you are not accustomed to this, it can be a shock. When you are married, almost every decision you make affects another person . Not only do you have to reach agreement on key issues such as money, to live, or if I go on vacation , but there are hundreds of small decisions that now have to share what time to eat or what to do on Saturday night.
When you are open to a compromise , you will find that there are things that you have to give for the sake of the relationship, and it is not always easy.
If you are someone who has been accustomed to be always in control , it is important to prepare for " do not get away with it . " First, be honest with yourself and admit that like to do things your way . Then start practicing commitment in your life with your friends and family . You might even find a relief not to be still in charge and actually let other people share responsibility . It may be difficult at first, but there are many things that you can earn by allowing someone else to take the initiative.
3 ) . patience
"The ability to accept or tolerate delay , trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset . " This is a big No patience is needed only for your partner, but patience with yourself.
One of the biggest destroyers of marriages is angry , especially when misused and misdirected . When an intimate relationship with someone who can become a lightning rod for their anger and frustration, simply because they are there and accessible manner . It is easy to project their bad feelings towards them and start blaming and criticizing. It takes a lot of self-awareness to catch you when you behave this way.
The quality of patience , you can create more peace in your life and therefore a more peaceful marriage. It helps you navigate the problems and hassles with a clear head and prevents it from being an opponent of her husband.
There will be times when your husband do things or say things that " push your buttons " and make you want to pick on him . But if you can cultivate patience , it is easier to take a deep breath and decided to respond with love and kindness.
4 ) . forgiveness
" To stop feeling angry or resentful (someone ) for an offense , flaw or mistake." Excuse me, like patience , involves off and replace anger and guilt and acceptance love. Anger has many expressions, but most of the time will be displayed in the form of resentment and bitterness. If they are not recognized and forgiven will fester and grow. Like a toothache, ignoring them will not disappear and they will begin to really poison your marriage.
Forgiveness does not tolerate bad behavior , but allows two people to remember that they are both defective, and both deserve to be forgiven.
5 ) . generosity
" Showing a willingness to give more of something such as money or time, more than what is strictly necessary or expected. " If you marry the right person, your husband is interested in your happiness as much as yours and it is a great gift. As human beings , we must teach the principles how to share with others and how generously put the interests of another person above ours.
If you have not learned the lesson of being generous with others as a child, you can always develop now . You must be aware of the needs of others and give your time and energy for you.
4 Tips That Will Help You Save Your Marriage
Tip # 1 - Be prepared to take the first step
When there is a situation where a closed marriage and some people choose to take the victim mentality . Rather than take the first step to expect your spouse to do. The problem with this method is that the longer you wait , the greater the risk of losing the person you love . When you live this way, you are reinforcing negative behaviors that you have put in this situation in the first place.
See if this right to free air. The fact that you are the first to admit that you were wrong and apologize , does not mean that you are weak. This means that you 're willing to put your pride aside and do what is in the best interests of your relationship. Let's be honest here , being right is overrated. And when it comes to you rather be right or married?
Tip # 2 - Learn to listen
Both parties have things they want to say. And while it is very important that you can hear, it is equally important to learn to listen . Be prepared to listen to what your spouse has to say. Even things that you might not want to hear . Try to see things from their point of view . See how they feel.
All you need is a couple of minutes of uninterrupted listening to relieve years of misunderstandings. A true sign of growth is seeking first to understand, then understand. By learning to listen can go to the root of the problem and start the healing process .
Tip # 3 - be prepared to change
When you go through a difficult period in their marriage , is the perfect time to look . Nobody is perfect . Not even you . And if you take that kind of attitude , his marriage is as good as before . You must be willing to change. Then look at yourself and be honest . What areas can you improve ? What are some things that your spouse is always complaining about?
Now is the time to consider these questions. Discover how you can do better and be better . There is nothing wrong with change for the better . This means that they are growing and evolving as a person.
Tip # 4 - Tell solutions
Listen , you can not spend as much time talking about things that need to be corrected in your relationship. At some point in the conversation must resort to solutions. Find out what you can do both individually and as a device to improve your marriage. Understand that nothing works without work. If you really want to save your marriage, you must be willing to put in the work . It will not be easy, but worth it.
When there is a situation where a closed marriage and some people choose to take the victim mentality . Rather than take the first step to expect your spouse to do. The problem with this method is that the longer you wait , the greater the risk of losing the person you love . When you live this way, you are reinforcing negative behaviors that you have put in this situation in the first place.
See if this right to free air. The fact that you are the first to admit that you were wrong and apologize , does not mean that you are weak. This means that you 're willing to put your pride aside and do what is in the best interests of your relationship. Let's be honest here , being right is overrated. And when it comes to you rather be right or married?
Tip # 2 - Learn to listen
Both parties have things they want to say. And while it is very important that you can hear, it is equally important to learn to listen . Be prepared to listen to what your spouse has to say. Even things that you might not want to hear . Try to see things from their point of view . See how they feel.
All you need is a couple of minutes of uninterrupted listening to relieve years of misunderstandings. A true sign of growth is seeking first to understand, then understand. By learning to listen can go to the root of the problem and start the healing process .
Tip # 3 - be prepared to change
When you go through a difficult period in their marriage , is the perfect time to look . Nobody is perfect . Not even you . And if you take that kind of attitude , his marriage is as good as before . You must be willing to change. Then look at yourself and be honest . What areas can you improve ? What are some things that your spouse is always complaining about?
Now is the time to consider these questions. Discover how you can do better and be better . There is nothing wrong with change for the better . This means that they are growing and evolving as a person.
Tip # 4 - Tell solutions
Listen , you can not spend as much time talking about things that need to be corrected in your relationship. At some point in the conversation must resort to solutions. Find out what you can do both individually and as a device to improve your marriage. Understand that nothing works without work. If you really want to save your marriage, you must be willing to put in the work . It will not be easy, but worth it.
Why Marriages Fail - 4 Common Risk Factors
Many marriages today do not last long . Despite much speculation about why marriages fail , the truth is that marriages do not just stop at night. There are warning signs that your relationship is having problems. Sometimes , for various reasons such as ignorance , fear, or too busy , couples tend to ignore these warning signs . However, to build a long marriage , we must avoid four common risk factors for why marriages fail .
1 ) . A lack of communication
A lack of communication is the reason why marriages fail today. With the hectic lifestyle of today, most couples do not communicate sufficiently and properly. It is common to find couples spend more time on their mobile smartphones / to communicate with their partners. Good communication is essential in a relationship, because it allows both to share their views on the problems in your relationship and come to a solution as a couple.
2 ) . Lack of privacy
Lack of intimacy in your marriage is a common risk factor for the marriage breakdown. Usually intimacy during the early stages of their relationship is not a problem. However, the decline of privacy in time is disastrous for their wedding. This usually happens when you start to get used to the daily norm so bored of their relationship. His lack of intimacy and sexual desire in others can be misleading and become one of the risk factors of why marriages fail . Be creative and bring new ideas into the relationship to keep your marriage going .
3 ) . finance
Why marriages fail is also linked to funding. Financial stability / security is very important in a marriage. Money is not everything, but it is important . It takes money to pay the bills and put food on the table for your family. It is common to see couples competing financial issues and over time this fight will have a negative impact on your marriage. Discuss and plan your finances with your partner to be ready to face any financial crisis together.
4 ) . incomprehension
Many couples rush to get married after becoming aware of each other for a few months. You do not understand your partner or that much time to get to know each other . Time to know your partner is very important because it allows you to really understand the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. It is through this understanding that you can know if you can live with your partner or not . Take time to know your partner well before walking down the aisle.
1 ) . A lack of communication
A lack of communication is the reason why marriages fail today. With the hectic lifestyle of today, most couples do not communicate sufficiently and properly. It is common to find couples spend more time on their mobile smartphones / to communicate with their partners. Good communication is essential in a relationship, because it allows both to share their views on the problems in your relationship and come to a solution as a couple.
2 ) . Lack of privacy
Lack of intimacy in your marriage is a common risk factor for the marriage breakdown. Usually intimacy during the early stages of their relationship is not a problem. However, the decline of privacy in time is disastrous for their wedding. This usually happens when you start to get used to the daily norm so bored of their relationship. His lack of intimacy and sexual desire in others can be misleading and become one of the risk factors of why marriages fail . Be creative and bring new ideas into the relationship to keep your marriage going .
3 ) . finance
Why marriages fail is also linked to funding. Financial stability / security is very important in a marriage. Money is not everything, but it is important . It takes money to pay the bills and put food on the table for your family. It is common to see couples competing financial issues and over time this fight will have a negative impact on your marriage. Discuss and plan your finances with your partner to be ready to face any financial crisis together.
4 ) . incomprehension
Many couples rush to get married after becoming aware of each other for a few months. You do not understand your partner or that much time to get to know each other . Time to know your partner is very important because it allows you to really understand the strengths and weaknesses of your partner. It is through this understanding that you can know if you can live with your partner or not . Take time to know your partner well before walking down the aisle.
Manning Up to Marriage Separation
There was a time , there are nearly 10 years old when my world was engulfed in darkness, and I had come to light . Even though I was a tacit belief , now I 've found so vulnerable that I just had to commit to God for my survival.
I quickly realized , in the country of spousal beyond their control separation in the pursuit of my beloved , skirting Strait between the two poles harder to make his life running too hard and transmit disinterest by not running enough. And further , I mean a dignified manner in which the integrity of a man remains the cornerstone of his blessing. Not make sense to continue the assault here . No "man" has aggressively pursued .
I saw this in the lives of other men too.
Caught between one and God's call on their lives to pursue a real love, but it has happened , what is man? What to honor God and honor him at the same time ? And how they will return to enjoy the feedback of their peers ? These, of course, unanswered questions .
But blessed is the man who is willing to "man up " to the challenges that have beset . Only he can tell if he really has something to offer, and hope that you better listen to God's right hand , but in my experience that very often . How noble it is for a man to go in changing and improving what may be an acceptable husband, not for their own sake , just hers.
In dealing with unanswered questions , the man is guided by wisdom, because wisdom gives us his own when we enter by faith into space unanswered.
There is nothing wrong with being a little confusion in reality. This is how they are produced. This is how God leads us in our lives and develops the concepts of acceptance, tolerance , maturity , humility , patience and strength.
The weakness of man power granted because it goes on the work that God has done for him in a timely manner . If he can spend his life for her, regardless of the outcome , it will be blessed , and children too.
When a man is faced with the torture of marital separation beyond its control, all you can do is choose to bless your life in every way that God nourishes his mind to do . While he does this, you must consider the beauty that God built into his character. God lose a single injury , and the blessing of it , he will be blessed .
I quickly realized , in the country of spousal beyond their control separation in the pursuit of my beloved , skirting Strait between the two poles harder to make his life running too hard and transmit disinterest by not running enough. And further , I mean a dignified manner in which the integrity of a man remains the cornerstone of his blessing. Not make sense to continue the assault here . No "man" has aggressively pursued .
I saw this in the lives of other men too.
Caught between one and God's call on their lives to pursue a real love, but it has happened , what is man? What to honor God and honor him at the same time ? And how they will return to enjoy the feedback of their peers ? These, of course, unanswered questions .
But blessed is the man who is willing to "man up " to the challenges that have beset . Only he can tell if he really has something to offer, and hope that you better listen to God's right hand , but in my experience that very often . How noble it is for a man to go in changing and improving what may be an acceptable husband, not for their own sake , just hers.
In dealing with unanswered questions , the man is guided by wisdom, because wisdom gives us his own when we enter by faith into space unanswered.
There is nothing wrong with being a little confusion in reality. This is how they are produced. This is how God leads us in our lives and develops the concepts of acceptance, tolerance , maturity , humility , patience and strength.
The weakness of man power granted because it goes on the work that God has done for him in a timely manner . If he can spend his life for her, regardless of the outcome , it will be blessed , and children too.
When a man is faced with the torture of marital separation beyond its control, all you can do is choose to bless your life in every way that God nourishes his mind to do . While he does this, you must consider the beauty that God built into his character. God lose a single injury , and the blessing of it , he will be blessed .
Are You Sure You're Ready?
Wedding
- is a lifetime commitment with someone to share the love and moments
of disgust , in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Before you decide , consider some things . What is the character of the person you want to marry ? Is
that person loving, caring , and you like what you really are, or that
person is a tyrant , selfish and want to change to satisfy the selfish
desires ?
Think. Do - it would be better to marry than to be always there for you , it would be a good father to their future children , and be there to provide what you need which is essential , but you do not like this person? You can come to love this person for the character of your spouse would . Now, if you thought you were in love with someone who was abusive, would probably cheat on you somewhere along the way , and are not always completely honest or do you still marry that person because you have fallen in love ? Is it really worth being verbally or physically ill and have a terrible life, because you are in love ? Probably end with either their livelihood is threatened or become deeply depressed by divorce. Again , would it be worth it? When you look at what you want your spouse is , you see the main features that you want in this person? How is the person with other people on a regular basis? Best behavior is usually a great thing in dating. How is this person when angry , depressed, quite normal? Have you observed near and far ? It is important to see the main features of this person, or you may find yourself a terrible life with someone you thought not seeing the real person , or perhaps not knowing that person enough because you were so in love which does not matter .
Make sure you really know that person before diving into the chapter of marriage. If you look, there may be rocks on the bottom waiting to crush you. If you need advice , go to someone you know really cares about you and has your best interests at heart . Listen, if you agree or not . Throughout the hearing, you may lose the ball in front of you . Obviously, this is not thought to be assessed against in your pocket. Take it at face value and when you feel you have made the right decision, understand.
Think. Do - it would be better to marry than to be always there for you , it would be a good father to their future children , and be there to provide what you need which is essential , but you do not like this person? You can come to love this person for the character of your spouse would . Now, if you thought you were in love with someone who was abusive, would probably cheat on you somewhere along the way , and are not always completely honest or do you still marry that person because you have fallen in love ? Is it really worth being verbally or physically ill and have a terrible life, because you are in love ? Probably end with either their livelihood is threatened or become deeply depressed by divorce. Again , would it be worth it? When you look at what you want your spouse is , you see the main features that you want in this person? How is the person with other people on a regular basis? Best behavior is usually a great thing in dating. How is this person when angry , depressed, quite normal? Have you observed near and far ? It is important to see the main features of this person, or you may find yourself a terrible life with someone you thought not seeing the real person , or perhaps not knowing that person enough because you were so in love which does not matter .
Make sure you really know that person before diving into the chapter of marriage. If you look, there may be rocks on the bottom waiting to crush you. If you need advice , go to someone you know really cares about you and has your best interests at heart . Listen, if you agree or not . Throughout the hearing, you may lose the ball in front of you . Obviously, this is not thought to be assessed against in your pocket. Take it at face value and when you feel you have made the right decision, understand.
Marriage Communication Skills
Communication skills can improve Learning to communicate effectively will help couples develop a happy relationship. A relationship is a mixture of emotions that include exploits disagreements. Marriage
is a work in progress , you have problems in the way the little things,
like where to spend your holidays in the most important problems
involving money . When couples can communicate effectively , will develop better relationships.
To avoid conflicts and resolve common marital problems, I recommend using the communication skills after marriage :
1 ) . Do not talk when you're angry. Your heart beats at 90 beats per minute when you are angry . At this rate , it is difficult to access the logical part of your brain. If you speak a word at this time, it is possible to release the heavy regret it later words. You might say things that might hurt your spouse and can cause irreparable damage to his marriage. Therefore, the disengagement when angry , did not speak a word.
2 ) . Choose words non - offensive when communicating . If you wish to express a complaint, start your statement with "I" or "we" instead of "you." Say: "I think our investment is a mistake " instead of Select offensive words will not cause defensive spouse " You made a mistake by investing our money. " . Even their speech should be in a soft voice .
Do not criticize your spouse. Do not attack the character and personality of your partner. Do not accuse and blame. Do not be sarcastic . Do not insult or call your spouse names . Stop nonverbal communication that can trigger anger and eyes rolling in mockery and sneering . Arms crossed and a little shot could be interpreted as a lack of respect and no interest in communication.
Do not be defensive . Always listen and have an open mind in their communication . Your feelings may have been wrong in their communication , but you have to face the problems and their own mistakes. Take responsibility for personal actions. Be on the defensive, you and your spouse to solve your marital problems amicably to prevent and develop a happy relationship.
3 ) . Tell your spouse feelings hurt. Never hide or be passive about these emotions, because if you do, you will create a monster that can destroy your relationship. Be passive about their feelings aggravate their injuries and this can become a bomb when it reaches its limit of tolerance. Addressing feelings of pain is one of the healthiest things that a married couple should engage in. Never internalize their feelings hurt or your spouse submit a silent treatment .
Be open to interact and communicate . A silent treatment not only angry at your spouse, it will lead to unsolved problems.
However, if you really reached a point where you feel you 're exhausted or overloaded must tell your spouse about it and request a delay or a truce emotionally. When at this stage needs time to be alone and think . This is perfectly fine as long as your spouse is both informed and agreed some time off from others.
4 ) . Communicate with ears, eyes, heart and mind. Make sure you understand what your spouse is talking . Listening to the needs and emotions that are expressed. Make your partner feel that you listen carefully and feel the emotions that are expressed. Validate what he heard and felt by reformulating statements or ask questions.
Mastering these communication skills to become a natural marriage for you. These skills wedding communication then become automatic when you have marital problems. You automatically removed from your system and becomes unwittingly tools of combat, even if you are tired, angry , stressed or angry.Marriage communication skills are one of the best tools to help you develop a lifetime of healthy couple.
To avoid conflicts and resolve common marital problems, I recommend using the communication skills after marriage :
1 ) . Do not talk when you're angry. Your heart beats at 90 beats per minute when you are angry . At this rate , it is difficult to access the logical part of your brain. If you speak a word at this time, it is possible to release the heavy regret it later words. You might say things that might hurt your spouse and can cause irreparable damage to his marriage. Therefore, the disengagement when angry , did not speak a word.
2 ) . Choose words non - offensive when communicating . If you wish to express a complaint, start your statement with "I" or "we" instead of "you." Say: "I think our investment is a mistake " instead of Select offensive words will not cause defensive spouse " You made a mistake by investing our money. " . Even their speech should be in a soft voice .
Do not criticize your spouse. Do not attack the character and personality of your partner. Do not accuse and blame. Do not be sarcastic . Do not insult or call your spouse names . Stop nonverbal communication that can trigger anger and eyes rolling in mockery and sneering . Arms crossed and a little shot could be interpreted as a lack of respect and no interest in communication.
Do not be defensive . Always listen and have an open mind in their communication . Your feelings may have been wrong in their communication , but you have to face the problems and their own mistakes. Take responsibility for personal actions. Be on the defensive, you and your spouse to solve your marital problems amicably to prevent and develop a happy relationship.
3 ) . Tell your spouse feelings hurt. Never hide or be passive about these emotions, because if you do, you will create a monster that can destroy your relationship. Be passive about their feelings aggravate their injuries and this can become a bomb when it reaches its limit of tolerance. Addressing feelings of pain is one of the healthiest things that a married couple should engage in. Never internalize their feelings hurt or your spouse submit a silent treatment .
Be open to interact and communicate . A silent treatment not only angry at your spouse, it will lead to unsolved problems.
However, if you really reached a point where you feel you 're exhausted or overloaded must tell your spouse about it and request a delay or a truce emotionally. When at this stage needs time to be alone and think . This is perfectly fine as long as your spouse is both informed and agreed some time off from others.
4 ) . Communicate with ears, eyes, heart and mind. Make sure you understand what your spouse is talking . Listening to the needs and emotions that are expressed. Make your partner feel that you listen carefully and feel the emotions that are expressed. Validate what he heard and felt by reformulating statements or ask questions.
Mastering these communication skills to become a natural marriage for you. These skills wedding communication then become automatic when you have marital problems. You automatically removed from your system and becomes unwittingly tools of combat, even if you are tired, angry , stressed or angry.Marriage communication skills are one of the best tools to help you develop a lifetime of healthy couple.
Marriage Advice To Make It Last
We
decided not to give marital advice to all couples, but we had heard
almost every reason why men and women abandon their marriage and the
heart was breaking. You see, my husband , Dale, and you have almost given up on our marriage 20 years ago when things got a little rough. Our communication has been broken and we felt a lot of anger and tension in our relationship.
Renounce our marriage seemed the best thing to do , but after ten years of marriage and two children, it was not so simple. We faced a lot of questions before divorce. And what a blessing it is that the divorce was not easy. We were forced to do a lot of introspection and advice on marriage other than subsequently led us to relive the love and passion in our own marriage.
While we are not professional marriage counselors trying to guide and lead the couples struggle through their difficulties so that they can save your marriage and experience the same joy that we have in the past twenty years.
It would have been a great loss to Dale and I and our two children so we threw everything away, because we were not prepared to fight to save our marriage . With as a starting point , I want to share with you some basic facts that we have found successful marriages. First, we found that most marriages go through difficult times , hard times that could easily lead to divorce . Couples who have survived long term is not lost, they dug in and fought to save his marriage and family .
While some of the qualities required for a long and successful marriage are perseverance and commitment. You should be able to cope with everyday problems throughout life, including :
• struggles money• The statutes• Stress at work• Starting a family• Disagreements / differences of opinion
Regardless if you are a bride or a couple who celebrated their silver or golden anniversary . No group of generation or age alone that has not had to deal with this set of problems and more . Couples whose marriages have survived and thrived to understand that the key to long term success ingredient is commitment to your partner and your marriage. They understand that as everyone in a marriage relationship , they know that their marriage will be challenges and up and down times. Many married couples have long felt that the young newly married couples today simply do not try hard enough. They see young couples give up too soon after a disagreement or argument.
You remember the words below or something very close to your wedding ceremony ? I, Debbie , take Dale, to be my husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse , for richer , poverty, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day until death do us part . Married couples long - especially seem to take their wedding vows seriously. They wanted when they said they will love, honor and cherish your partner. If you are truly committed to your marriage and your spouse must act in this marriage counseling to make a simple self-assessment , but essential to their marriage. Ask your self the following questions:
• Are you willing " to love and take care of " the other ?• Is it really committed to be there for your spouse " for better or for worse "?• Are you willing to stick it out through the financial ups and down " Wealth and Poverty " ?• Will you try to make the relationship work " in sickness and in health "?• Are you committed to stay with your partner " until death do us part " ?
Nobody can make this marriage counseling to work for you and to make this assessment for you. You and your partner can only answer these questions to determine if you are committed to a lifelong marriage . While you might be in a good place now that you and your partner is not on the same page and they seem to have trouble now more prosperous in your relationship , you can turn this boat around and get back on track if both are incurred. A great person said: "Success is a journey, not a destination. " So you 're willing to put these wedding tips to work for you in your marriage by being committed to this journey of success?
Renounce our marriage seemed the best thing to do , but after ten years of marriage and two children, it was not so simple. We faced a lot of questions before divorce. And what a blessing it is that the divorce was not easy. We were forced to do a lot of introspection and advice on marriage other than subsequently led us to relive the love and passion in our own marriage.
While we are not professional marriage counselors trying to guide and lead the couples struggle through their difficulties so that they can save your marriage and experience the same joy that we have in the past twenty years.
It would have been a great loss to Dale and I and our two children so we threw everything away, because we were not prepared to fight to save our marriage . With as a starting point , I want to share with you some basic facts that we have found successful marriages. First, we found that most marriages go through difficult times , hard times that could easily lead to divorce . Couples who have survived long term is not lost, they dug in and fought to save his marriage and family .
While some of the qualities required for a long and successful marriage are perseverance and commitment. You should be able to cope with everyday problems throughout life, including :
• struggles money• The statutes• Stress at work• Starting a family• Disagreements / differences of opinion
Regardless if you are a bride or a couple who celebrated their silver or golden anniversary . No group of generation or age alone that has not had to deal with this set of problems and more . Couples whose marriages have survived and thrived to understand that the key to long term success ingredient is commitment to your partner and your marriage. They understand that as everyone in a marriage relationship , they know that their marriage will be challenges and up and down times. Many married couples have long felt that the young newly married couples today simply do not try hard enough. They see young couples give up too soon after a disagreement or argument.
You remember the words below or something very close to your wedding ceremony ? I, Debbie , take Dale, to be my husband , to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse , for richer , poverty, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day until death do us part . Married couples long - especially seem to take their wedding vows seriously. They wanted when they said they will love, honor and cherish your partner. If you are truly committed to your marriage and your spouse must act in this marriage counseling to make a simple self-assessment , but essential to their marriage. Ask your self the following questions:
• Are you willing " to love and take care of " the other ?• Is it really committed to be there for your spouse " for better or for worse "?• Are you willing to stick it out through the financial ups and down " Wealth and Poverty " ?• Will you try to make the relationship work " in sickness and in health "?• Are you committed to stay with your partner " until death do us part " ?
Nobody can make this marriage counseling to work for you and to make this assessment for you. You and your partner can only answer these questions to determine if you are committed to a lifelong marriage . While you might be in a good place now that you and your partner is not on the same page and they seem to have trouble now more prosperous in your relationship , you can turn this boat around and get back on track if both are incurred. A great person said: "Success is a journey, not a destination. " So you 're willing to put these wedding tips to work for you in your marriage by being committed to this journey of success?
Managing Money Problems In Your Marriage
Money
problems in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce in married
couples so you should learn to manage their finances better for the
longevity of their marriage. Each
couple and their families are struggling financially difficult we have
experienced in recent years economic times, but they do not have to
destroy your marriage, if you follow the simple tips that we will share
with you here.
Whatever your situation, if your accounts are now piling up, and the large debts that can never be paid, or just looking for new ways to make more money, our advice can help any person who is willing to take the right action.
The first thing to do is get your life organized and this includes personal finances. Start by getting all your savings and control account information, including your password, and other documents, and other important public services in a safe and easily accessible whenever you need it there.
You can not take money problems in marriage lightly or you could be facing serious marital problems that could have difficult circumstances for you and your entire family. You must go to work to save money from all sources. For example, if you are a good driver with a good driving record, you can save money by choosing a higher deductible on your policy. If you choose a $ 1,000 deductible, for example, you will pay lower if you choose a $ 500 deductible premiums. The money you save can begin to reduce your debt, just be sure to keep your eyes on the road and drive safely. You do not want to have to pay the higher deductible.
If you are a student or parent of a student, you must reduce the amount you spend on books and supplies. Instead of buying seen in the campus bookstore, which is usually at a lower price, buy books Upperclassman can sell these books at a discount. You can usually find these students exchange books or notes can be placed online or on a bulletin board at school. This can save hundreds of dollars per semester you.
Money problems in marriage usually begin not to abandon the fun things in your relationship, like going to the cinema. Two people will see a movie in a could easily spend forty to fifty dollars movie, if you get popcorn, drinks and candy. You should find cheaper ways of doing things you love. Instead of going to the cinema to see a movie, rent one. Like eating outside? Why not take a picnic and eat in the park with your partner. To find cheaper ways of doing things, you can still enjoy and improve your marriage without feeling the effects.
There are many useful online tools that cost nothing and they need to use them.As example, use a digital online calendar to track your personal finances. You can take note of when you need to pay your bills, do taxes, check your credit score, and many other important financial issues. The calendar can be configured to send you e-mail alerts to remind you when to take action.
Money problems in marriage begins when two people get married without a financial plan. You and your spouse must establish a personal family budget that each of you agree, and then stick to it. It is important to create a budget for your family, if you know exactly what each of you can spend on things. Having a budget prevents you from spending money you do not.
A great place to save money is to reduce your monthly grocery bills to drop the habit of shopping for meals every day after work or school. This approach makes it more likely to buy expensive impulse purchases or make prints of fast food. You must plan your groceries for a week. In fact, you can even save more money by shopping only once every two weeks.
To ensure that you do not have money problems in marriage can not live beyond your means. If you buy clothes, groceries and gasoline credit card because you have no money in your account, then as a major financial problem in your marriage is heading. You and your spouse need to keep track of your money carefully. You must ensure that you spend less money than you earn. Act quickly or you can build a tower of debt that could crash into you and ruin your marriage.
No matter what type of financial difficulties may have been far from proven and tested tips you just read can help you, but you must be committed and disciplined to follow these steps every day. Dave Ramsey, a Christian financial guru, always says, "you have to live today like no one else, so you can live better than anyone tomorrow." In short, he tells us to live a prudent financial life today ' hui and avoid money problems in marriage if a lot of experience early in their marriage and win so that you can live a luxurious life in the future, while many are struggling. No substitute for knowledge when you have financial problems. Once you start to put these tips to work on your own life, you'll soon be able to solve your financial problems.
Whatever your situation, if your accounts are now piling up, and the large debts that can never be paid, or just looking for new ways to make more money, our advice can help any person who is willing to take the right action.
The first thing to do is get your life organized and this includes personal finances. Start by getting all your savings and control account information, including your password, and other documents, and other important public services in a safe and easily accessible whenever you need it there.
You can not take money problems in marriage lightly or you could be facing serious marital problems that could have difficult circumstances for you and your entire family. You must go to work to save money from all sources. For example, if you are a good driver with a good driving record, you can save money by choosing a higher deductible on your policy. If you choose a $ 1,000 deductible, for example, you will pay lower if you choose a $ 500 deductible premiums. The money you save can begin to reduce your debt, just be sure to keep your eyes on the road and drive safely. You do not want to have to pay the higher deductible.
If you are a student or parent of a student, you must reduce the amount you spend on books and supplies. Instead of buying seen in the campus bookstore, which is usually at a lower price, buy books Upperclassman can sell these books at a discount. You can usually find these students exchange books or notes can be placed online or on a bulletin board at school. This can save hundreds of dollars per semester you.
Money problems in marriage usually begin not to abandon the fun things in your relationship, like going to the cinema. Two people will see a movie in a could easily spend forty to fifty dollars movie, if you get popcorn, drinks and candy. You should find cheaper ways of doing things you love. Instead of going to the cinema to see a movie, rent one. Like eating outside? Why not take a picnic and eat in the park with your partner. To find cheaper ways of doing things, you can still enjoy and improve your marriage without feeling the effects.
There are many useful online tools that cost nothing and they need to use them.As example, use a digital online calendar to track your personal finances. You can take note of when you need to pay your bills, do taxes, check your credit score, and many other important financial issues. The calendar can be configured to send you e-mail alerts to remind you when to take action.
Money problems in marriage begins when two people get married without a financial plan. You and your spouse must establish a personal family budget that each of you agree, and then stick to it. It is important to create a budget for your family, if you know exactly what each of you can spend on things. Having a budget prevents you from spending money you do not.
A great place to save money is to reduce your monthly grocery bills to drop the habit of shopping for meals every day after work or school. This approach makes it more likely to buy expensive impulse purchases or make prints of fast food. You must plan your groceries for a week. In fact, you can even save more money by shopping only once every two weeks.
To ensure that you do not have money problems in marriage can not live beyond your means. If you buy clothes, groceries and gasoline credit card because you have no money in your account, then as a major financial problem in your marriage is heading. You and your spouse need to keep track of your money carefully. You must ensure that you spend less money than you earn. Act quickly or you can build a tower of debt that could crash into you and ruin your marriage.
No matter what type of financial difficulties may have been far from proven and tested tips you just read can help you, but you must be committed and disciplined to follow these steps every day. Dave Ramsey, a Christian financial guru, always says, "you have to live today like no one else, so you can live better than anyone tomorrow." In short, he tells us to live a prudent financial life today ' hui and avoid money problems in marriage if a lot of experience early in their marriage and win so that you can live a luxurious life in the future, while many are struggling. No substitute for knowledge when you have financial problems. Once you start to put these tips to work on your own life, you'll soon be able to solve your financial problems.
Simple Tips for a Happy Marriage
The journey after marriage is a totally different way men and women, compared to what it was before the wedding. Men and women think and act differently after marriage. Marriage is a new experience in which they can learn from their mistakes and this process can also be a good human being. Sometimes their previous relationships also teach you not to make the same mistakes in your marriage. However, even after very careful sometimes marriages fail. There are many issues that arise in the mind of a couple why their marriage fell apart? Therefore, it is very important to know that it's the simple things that you can avoid, and things you want in your marriage.
Stay away from blaming each other
There are times where the disagreement can arise in your marriage, this time, the only person you can control is "you" yourself. Married couples often put blame indirectly through harsh words or typical tone. For example, you can rewrite the sentence "There are so many dishes and have to clean it for me, as always" to "I feel so tired today, can you clean the dishes today?" The first sentence is a little reproachfully, while the second will probably get the desired response you want. Always try to communicate directly and with confidence in a pleasant tone, so you can make your partner feel appreciated and loved. Avoid indirect communication that creates a lot of confusion and puts the blame on the other person indirectly.
Give regard to individual interests
Even if you are a married couple, it does not mean you can not have different interests. You have your own hobby that can continue even after the wedding, you can have your own circle of friends and have a good time with them, you can practice a sport or any other activity of your choice, etc. Never lose your individuality and suffocate each other in marriage. After becoming parents life becomes busier with the responsibilities of children, work pressure, etc., it is very important that sometimes you should take a break from the monotonous routine and let your partner do the same too. This will not only make you happy as an individual, but also strengthen your bond with your partner.
Discuss your finances
Money is one of the reasons for the dispute in a marriage. Make sure you sit together once or twice a month to talk about the debt, tuition, savings, vacation plans and bills and everything about the costs and savings as well. Individual scores and credit reports will also be discussed together. This discussion will prevent accidents while making a joint purchase. You can record your financial goals and share them with your partner and plan to reach your goals together.
Stay away from blaming each other
There are times where the disagreement can arise in your marriage, this time, the only person you can control is "you" yourself. Married couples often put blame indirectly through harsh words or typical tone. For example, you can rewrite the sentence "There are so many dishes and have to clean it for me, as always" to "I feel so tired today, can you clean the dishes today?" The first sentence is a little reproachfully, while the second will probably get the desired response you want. Always try to communicate directly and with confidence in a pleasant tone, so you can make your partner feel appreciated and loved. Avoid indirect communication that creates a lot of confusion and puts the blame on the other person indirectly.
Give regard to individual interests
Even if you are a married couple, it does not mean you can not have different interests. You have your own hobby that can continue even after the wedding, you can have your own circle of friends and have a good time with them, you can practice a sport or any other activity of your choice, etc. Never lose your individuality and suffocate each other in marriage. After becoming parents life becomes busier with the responsibilities of children, work pressure, etc., it is very important that sometimes you should take a break from the monotonous routine and let your partner do the same too. This will not only make you happy as an individual, but also strengthen your bond with your partner.
Discuss your finances
Money is one of the reasons for the dispute in a marriage. Make sure you sit together once or twice a month to talk about the debt, tuition, savings, vacation plans and bills and everything about the costs and savings as well. Individual scores and credit reports will also be discussed together. This discussion will prevent accidents while making a joint purchase. You can record your financial goals and share them with your partner and plan to reach your goals together.
How to Bring a Marriage Back to Life
Lifeless
marriage can lead to separation or divorce , and this is something that
can be avoided if you know how to keep the marital life . Couples tend to develop a routine to make life dull and boring relationship . It is important to know how to give life to marry to avoid divorce . The following tips may be useful.
Accept that marriage has its stages . When marriage becomes dull and lifeless , does not mean it will end. OK this is a milestone in your marriage , you must go and fight. Relationships often go through difficult times because it 's just the way it is. It is normal for marriage to discover the ups and downs of relationships. If approved couples it is normal to go through the stages and various activities and targeted work on divorce can be avoided. To make married life , we must accept that what you are going through a normal marriage. It is very easy to give up, but when you realize that this is just a phase that couples overcome with time, things will become more likely.
Decide to save your marriage . Couples can distance themselves married for many years , and can ask questions such as " Do I try to save my marriage , which does not make sense to her? " You have to decide to save your marriage and make every possible effort to avoid divorce . Making your marriage for the better or for the worse thing that couples must decide . To make married life , you have to take a decision that will save your marriage , no matter how difficult . Report to revive the love and passion in your marriage is important to overcome all difficulties and excuses to save the lifeless marriage.
Do not ignore conflicts in their marriage . It is dangerous in a marriage where couples avoid always to resolve conflicts in a marriage because they want to avoid differences. If you're still ignoring the problems in her marriage , which are ticking time bombs that can explode at any time , and you and your spouse will end up as victims. Of course , not all the questions I have an argument , you must know how to choose their battles . There are things that should be ignored , but there are important issues to be the face of the specific problems that can negatively affect your marriage . The arguments are not always in a bad marriage, as long as you know how to fight fair and constructive. Can actually help bring the arguments of money problems , and family policy , parenting , time management , and so on the surface. Of course , couples need to know how best to manage these conflicts in order to understand each other and resolve conflicts . If the conflict is too large for couples to manage their own, it is best to seek professional help . Eventually you will realize that it is not very difficult to do a wedding when dealing with conflicts in their marriage life correctly.
Spend more time with each other . With the arrival of children and growing responsibilities of the partners in a marriage , and spend time alone with each other is not that easy . Although it is difficult to spend some time alone with your partner 's need some time with your spouse , if you want to make a wedding in life . Seize every opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and make it a habit to be scheduled weekly . Most couples dating arrested once begun marital responsibilities to become the largest , and this is a big mistake . Couples should spend more time alone with each other to strengthen their relationship and reconnect with others .
I love you. To be able to keep your spouse happy and loved you must love yourself first . And you give too ignorant is not a good way to keep a marriage strong . To contribute to the well-being of their marriage must be in good condition first. Identify priorities as well. You have to grow as a couple and you have to grow as a person to contribute more to their marriage. It takes time to relax , spend time with friends and learn new things become more interesting . To make married life , you have to love yourself to become a better version of you .
Accept that marriage has its stages . When marriage becomes dull and lifeless , does not mean it will end. OK this is a milestone in your marriage , you must go and fight. Relationships often go through difficult times because it 's just the way it is. It is normal for marriage to discover the ups and downs of relationships. If approved couples it is normal to go through the stages and various activities and targeted work on divorce can be avoided. To make married life , we must accept that what you are going through a normal marriage. It is very easy to give up, but when you realize that this is just a phase that couples overcome with time, things will become more likely.
Decide to save your marriage . Couples can distance themselves married for many years , and can ask questions such as " Do I try to save my marriage , which does not make sense to her? " You have to decide to save your marriage and make every possible effort to avoid divorce . Making your marriage for the better or for the worse thing that couples must decide . To make married life , you have to take a decision that will save your marriage , no matter how difficult . Report to revive the love and passion in your marriage is important to overcome all difficulties and excuses to save the lifeless marriage.
Do not ignore conflicts in their marriage . It is dangerous in a marriage where couples avoid always to resolve conflicts in a marriage because they want to avoid differences. If you're still ignoring the problems in her marriage , which are ticking time bombs that can explode at any time , and you and your spouse will end up as victims. Of course , not all the questions I have an argument , you must know how to choose their battles . There are things that should be ignored , but there are important issues to be the face of the specific problems that can negatively affect your marriage . The arguments are not always in a bad marriage, as long as you know how to fight fair and constructive. Can actually help bring the arguments of money problems , and family policy , parenting , time management , and so on the surface. Of course , couples need to know how best to manage these conflicts in order to understand each other and resolve conflicts . If the conflict is too large for couples to manage their own, it is best to seek professional help . Eventually you will realize that it is not very difficult to do a wedding when dealing with conflicts in their marriage life correctly.
Spend more time with each other . With the arrival of children and growing responsibilities of the partners in a marriage , and spend time alone with each other is not that easy . Although it is difficult to spend some time alone with your partner 's need some time with your spouse , if you want to make a wedding in life . Seize every opportunity to reconnect with your spouse and make it a habit to be scheduled weekly . Most couples dating arrested once begun marital responsibilities to become the largest , and this is a big mistake . Couples should spend more time alone with each other to strengthen their relationship and reconnect with others .
I love you. To be able to keep your spouse happy and loved you must love yourself first . And you give too ignorant is not a good way to keep a marriage strong . To contribute to the well-being of their marriage must be in good condition first. Identify priorities as well. You have to grow as a couple and you have to grow as a person to contribute more to their marriage. It takes time to relax , spend time with friends and learn new things become more interesting . To make married life , you have to love yourself to become a better version of you .
How To Save Your Marriage
When
it comes to couples marriage counseling or couples therapy , they are
usually in a great deal of emotional pain and confusion.
They are often angry , resentful and hostile to each other completely , and perhaps one or both partners to consider separation or divorce seriously.
In addition, they are very invested in blaming each other and accuse each other of being a " case. "
To make matters worse , and the communication between the members of the couple often has deteriorated to the point that the husband and wife can not understand the point of view both of them on various topics.
While it is useful to members of the dyad marital " vent " and get the feelings of frustration and anger toward the open forum this processor , and the couple must go beyond this kind of debate , even if their treatment is effective and if it is to heal the relationship wounded.
While some husbands and wives who come for treatment have already decided they want their relationship, and others want to see whether it can fix things changing and understanding between them .
For couples who come to psychotherapy , hoping to repair their marriage , is very useful for couples begin to classify their behavior in one of two ways .
In other words , I encourage couples to decide whether behaviors or attitudes are concerned with relations destruction or construction.
If actions destroy relationships, such as deleting or participate less often .
For example , the use of drugs or alcohol tend to be destructive of respect for many of the weddings.
And the same can be said or extramarital affairs .
Instead, be supportive and help in parenting and family tend to have a positive effect on relationships and fall into the category of relationship builders .
And the same applies to things like s history, being favorable , and to provide assistance , and remember special occasions , teamwork and romantic evenings .
Once the husband and wife can watch their actions and their impact on your romantic relationships in this way , they can begin to see what they have to change to improve your marriage .
If your marriage is in trouble , take a look at your actions and see what to add that you need to reduce or eliminate to repair your relationship.
They are often angry , resentful and hostile to each other completely , and perhaps one or both partners to consider separation or divorce seriously.
In addition, they are very invested in blaming each other and accuse each other of being a " case. "
To make matters worse , and the communication between the members of the couple often has deteriorated to the point that the husband and wife can not understand the point of view both of them on various topics.
While it is useful to members of the dyad marital " vent " and get the feelings of frustration and anger toward the open forum this processor , and the couple must go beyond this kind of debate , even if their treatment is effective and if it is to heal the relationship wounded.
While some husbands and wives who come for treatment have already decided they want their relationship, and others want to see whether it can fix things changing and understanding between them .
For couples who come to psychotherapy , hoping to repair their marriage , is very useful for couples begin to classify their behavior in one of two ways .
In other words , I encourage couples to decide whether behaviors or attitudes are concerned with relations destruction or construction.
If actions destroy relationships, such as deleting or participate less often .
For example , the use of drugs or alcohol tend to be destructive of respect for many of the weddings.
And the same can be said or extramarital affairs .
Instead, be supportive and help in parenting and family tend to have a positive effect on relationships and fall into the category of relationship builders .
And the same applies to things like s history, being favorable , and to provide assistance , and remember special occasions , teamwork and romantic evenings .
Once the husband and wife can watch their actions and their impact on your romantic relationships in this way , they can begin to see what they have to change to improve your marriage .
If your marriage is in trouble , take a look at your actions and see what to add that you need to reduce or eliminate to repair your relationship.
5 Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful Marriages
We are creatures of habit and nature, and by extension, our habits if we are destroyed , then our lives will be miserable. On the contrary , positive habits and reproduction of a rewarding experience .
What habits characterize your union ? If you are struggling in your marriage , it can be one or more of these habits to be the center of the problem ?
Habit 1
Selfishness : nothing to do , especially in the context of a marriage to survive in an atmosphere of selfishness . If you are a person who wants to go out with them all the time , then the marriage is not really for you first. A successful marriage when both parties stand servant . Discover the needs of your wife and try to meet, within reasonable limits , of course . For example , today will be your partner and ask: "How can I make your life easier today? " Or "Do you want me to do for you today ? " When you are sharing this desire and sincerity in their power to make and execute the needs of your spouse voluntarily with joy and enthusiasm. If you grew up in a " dog eat dog " and may be the development officer mentality will be a challenge for you , however, makes a positive change in this direction is the path to save a successful marriage , love and always ask the question " what is best for you? "
Habit 2
There is an uncompromising position : If you carry a resentment and bitterness in his heart against her husband because of the crime he had suffered , but it may be difficult for you , instead of having to take revenge is necessary for your marriage to survive. Union does not thrive in an atmosphere of hatred . Take personally . What crime committed against a spouse who create a wall between the two ? Nature, we would like to keep grudges and abandon the injury may be more difficult for some than for others. Sometimes we feel the pain in the hands of those who died can be unbearable and the only time can heal these wounds . Can seek marriage counseling is a way that you can explore if you need to get a perspective on this obstacle .
Habit 3
Take each other for granted : take your spouse for granted and media does not give him / her the honor they deserve. Their husbands , if your spouse has made a request for assistance in a particular area , do not make the excuse that you're too tired ? However , during the same space of time, if your friends call you on the phone and invite you to play your favorite sport , food and develops suddenly cleared. Wives , when was the last time you expressed gratitude for their husbands to be the provider and care of the family ? When was the last time I did a long time to be together to share a romantic evening ? Remember the days of the court ? You get the point . You conduct your best and did everything in his power to satisfy your lover . Do not let the pressures of life and work demands that affect their commitment to love and fulfill each other.
Habit 4
Report abuse : physical or emotional nature , if you are in an abusive relationship , then you need to seek help immediately . If you are guilty of being the aggressor , and the same advice applies to you, seek professional help . A healthy marriage can not survive in a climate of aggression with the couple .
Suffice it to say that a lot of attention to physical violence and progress and, in fact , should be abhorred the practice.
But did you know that emotional abuse is so dangerous ?
You see, it is easy to see evidence of physical violence , but when it comes to the emotional side is not easy to determine and can be very accurate . For example , leaving your wife in public places and pass it as a joke , it can be considered harmful , but it's true . If your words do not accumulate again or take a pleasure to be crucial in the conversation , you may need to do some self-reflection . In fact , why do not you ask your wife if you are guilty of this practice . If in default , what good is that change is possible . Try to develop the habit of hiring your spouse rather than condemn him / her because the toothpaste is not the way they have learned to tighten in a hurry .
Habit 5
Communications negative : couples therapists agree that the interruption of communication is one of the main causes of marital unhappiness . Not negative need to communicate set yet . It surrounds us every day . But just in case you are not aware , here's a list to get you started:
Do not allow your spouse to stop sharing their feelings
Arm yourself with the " crack" repels the views of your spouse
Yell at your spouse
Verbal bashing or condemning the attacks emissions feelings and opinions of your spouse
Listen selectively
To be involved in other activities while your husband speaks
This list is not exhaustive , but is common adverse media which, if allowed to continue any relationship threatens the longevity of the marriage. The good news is that the negative communication patterns can be corrected . Once you recognize that the habit was devastating and expressed his willingness to make positive changes in order to develop healthy habits , and you have taken the first step in building a culture and a thriving relationship .
You know the proverb , " Knowledge is power , which " can be very misleading . In an age where information is a slap in the face from every corner of society , and the private family life and marriage should be prosperous . The fact of the matter is that if knowledge is not at our conscience , our lives in the days , weeks, or months or even years will cause a recession. 's Your relationship to new heights , must require the commitment of all parties to ensure its success . How do you want to change is a question that can be answered .
Today choose to be an agent for positive change in their relationship.
What habits characterize your union ? If you are struggling in your marriage , it can be one or more of these habits to be the center of the problem ?
Habit 1
Selfishness : nothing to do , especially in the context of a marriage to survive in an atmosphere of selfishness . If you are a person who wants to go out with them all the time , then the marriage is not really for you first. A successful marriage when both parties stand servant . Discover the needs of your wife and try to meet, within reasonable limits , of course . For example , today will be your partner and ask: "How can I make your life easier today? " Or "Do you want me to do for you today ? " When you are sharing this desire and sincerity in their power to make and execute the needs of your spouse voluntarily with joy and enthusiasm. If you grew up in a " dog eat dog " and may be the development officer mentality will be a challenge for you , however, makes a positive change in this direction is the path to save a successful marriage , love and always ask the question " what is best for you? "
Habit 2
There is an uncompromising position : If you carry a resentment and bitterness in his heart against her husband because of the crime he had suffered , but it may be difficult for you , instead of having to take revenge is necessary for your marriage to survive. Union does not thrive in an atmosphere of hatred . Take personally . What crime committed against a spouse who create a wall between the two ? Nature, we would like to keep grudges and abandon the injury may be more difficult for some than for others. Sometimes we feel the pain in the hands of those who died can be unbearable and the only time can heal these wounds . Can seek marriage counseling is a way that you can explore if you need to get a perspective on this obstacle .
Habit 3
Take each other for granted : take your spouse for granted and media does not give him / her the honor they deserve. Their husbands , if your spouse has made a request for assistance in a particular area , do not make the excuse that you're too tired ? However , during the same space of time, if your friends call you on the phone and invite you to play your favorite sport , food and develops suddenly cleared. Wives , when was the last time you expressed gratitude for their husbands to be the provider and care of the family ? When was the last time I did a long time to be together to share a romantic evening ? Remember the days of the court ? You get the point . You conduct your best and did everything in his power to satisfy your lover . Do not let the pressures of life and work demands that affect their commitment to love and fulfill each other.
Habit 4
Report abuse : physical or emotional nature , if you are in an abusive relationship , then you need to seek help immediately . If you are guilty of being the aggressor , and the same advice applies to you, seek professional help . A healthy marriage can not survive in a climate of aggression with the couple .
Suffice it to say that a lot of attention to physical violence and progress and, in fact , should be abhorred the practice.
But did you know that emotional abuse is so dangerous ?
You see, it is easy to see evidence of physical violence , but when it comes to the emotional side is not easy to determine and can be very accurate . For example , leaving your wife in public places and pass it as a joke , it can be considered harmful , but it's true . If your words do not accumulate again or take a pleasure to be crucial in the conversation , you may need to do some self-reflection . In fact , why do not you ask your wife if you are guilty of this practice . If in default , what good is that change is possible . Try to develop the habit of hiring your spouse rather than condemn him / her because the toothpaste is not the way they have learned to tighten in a hurry .
Habit 5
Communications negative : couples therapists agree that the interruption of communication is one of the main causes of marital unhappiness . Not negative need to communicate set yet . It surrounds us every day . But just in case you are not aware , here's a list to get you started:
Do not allow your spouse to stop sharing their feelings
Arm yourself with the " crack" repels the views of your spouse
Yell at your spouse
Verbal bashing or condemning the attacks emissions feelings and opinions of your spouse
Listen selectively
To be involved in other activities while your husband speaks
This list is not exhaustive , but is common adverse media which, if allowed to continue any relationship threatens the longevity of the marriage. The good news is that the negative communication patterns can be corrected . Once you recognize that the habit was devastating and expressed his willingness to make positive changes in order to develop healthy habits , and you have taken the first step in building a culture and a thriving relationship .
You know the proverb , " Knowledge is power , which " can be very misleading . In an age where information is a slap in the face from every corner of society , and the private family life and marriage should be prosperous . The fact of the matter is that if knowledge is not at our conscience , our lives in the days , weeks, or months or even years will cause a recession. 's Your relationship to new heights , must require the commitment of all parties to ensure its success . How do you want to change is a question that can be answered .
Today choose to be an agent for positive change in their relationship.
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