The Magic of TOUCH in Marriage

I visited with a couple the other day who are both in their second marriage. They are good friends, so do not know much about their relationship. However, they always seem to be very happy every time we meet.

As the conversation progresses, you can see the emotions began to fly . At one point, she turned to her husband and said, " never take my hand again!" And we felt in the tone of her voice that she aspired to the tip of her husband.

The husband was speechless , perhaps recognizing in her head she was right. Or maybe he thought she did not deserve her affection. But there were other people involved in the conversation , I redirected it .

However, this was a defining moment for this couple . Probably one of the first times that the woman told her husband what she wanted him in marriage.

My belief is that you should be his wife Romancing using the five senses. Each person is affected differently each sense of touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste. Part of the fun of being in a relationship is to find out what the most impressive with his wife .

For example , I brought very fragrant flowers to my girlfriend this week. I think they were the lilies. Several times she told me how wonderful it smelled like would emit a pleasure when I was in the room with her. I think it combines the beautiful smell of the beauty of our relationship?

Back to the couple.

The husband now has an opening to give your wife what she needs him . I hope not to hurry observation very negative , but use it to rekindle the flames of their marriage.

In many relationships , the sense of touch becomes a thing of the past, such as marriage , it disappears. When couples fight and lose the closeness that is almost touching it can make women want to jump out of your skin and scream . This reaction is probably caused by the thought that her husband wants sex , which in his mind, he does not deserve.

But remember , when he met his wife? The first signs non - verbal affection were tactile. Touch his arm , holding her hand , even putting his hand on his knee probably preceded the first kiss . Touch can help you rebuild love in your marriage.

If the woman does not play much , do not use sexual contact at first. The combination of contact with kind words can rebuild love in marriage. Just start slow with holding hands and touching his arm or shoulder. Reheat in touch and see how he reacts before doing more.

Over time , you can find this beautiful and seductive in their marriage.

Why Marriages Get Stuck

An acquaintance of mine , who thinks of me as a " marriage Guru , " asked me a few tips to help you re-energize your marriage. I shared with him examples of what others are doing to refresh their marital relations.

To which he answered and said, verbatim : " If I share their examples with it, my wife will wait to do the things you tell me. "

What a sad sad state. Basically , acknowledged that my ideas were solid, but simply was not interested in improving your marriage.

This statement and I my mind wandered for a few days , trying to understand the root of this observation and how my learning can be shared with you .

What I discovered is that the change is based on three things happening . If one of them does not occur , then the marriage is not going to improve .

# 1 - The people involved must be willing to change# 2 - You need to understand the root causes# 3 - There must be some form of accountability to ensure progress and success

You see, this is why I think things like weight loss programs do not work.

The person may want to lose weight (# 1) , then go to the clinic weight loss . No liability (No. 2) , the person must count calories and exercise every day, then report the results to your "coach" . But that is not addressed is the root of the problem. Why this person is overweight ? Are there any emotional or psychological problems that have caused a person to overeat ? Maybe these problems have disappeared temporarily, or may not have been head while focusing on weight loss diet . But then, at some point in the not too distant future, these "problems" resurfacing and the person becomes a psychological state in which use food for comfort or as a solution to their problems? Because clinical weight loss do not respond to the root of the problem, that accountability , which is why I think most people who lose weight gain and kick me all back again.

So how this theory applies to marriage ?

In the history of the upper part , the person has clearly no interest in changing . There are problems in the marriage that simply does not address . So no matter what you read , understand or be held responsible , it will not work to improve your marriage.

But for "normal" people , if there is such a thing , is sufficient to awaken love and friendship in marriage. Not that they hate each other, but they just put in a rut and do not know how to get out .

This is where simple exercises can help to recognize what they need from each other and work on these things to rekindle the flame .

The problem with most couples is that they want to change and may be able to find the root of your problem. It is the accountability factor which prevents the loop .

It's easy to tell your wife that you will make a conscious effort to do this or that , but what happens ? We are so busy with work and raising children can focus on the drivers of change for a day or two if you're lucky , then back into the old routine.

This is a certain type of coach can be the key to update the desired behavior change and see a real improvement in marriage. A coach can complete the loop with responsibility.

I would add that if a coach sees that the problems between the couple are beyond its scope and may require professional help and will recommend .

So when you think about how to improve your marriage, not just think you want to change and understand what is wrong , find a way to be accountable.