Co-parenting after a split is hardly easy on those involved and more so if the there is a contentious relationship with the ex-partner. One may be concerned about the ability of the ex to parent well, they might be stressed about child support or they might just be feeling worn down by conflict. When co-parenting is done amicably, they children get to obtain stability, security and even a close relationship with the parents. When considering co parenting Orange County CA residents can benefit from some tips.
Empathy of one of the most important virtues that will help. This involves having both parents put themselves in the position of their children even as they raise them together while living differently. When a child misses the other parent, they should be allowed to freely air their minds. A parent may rebuke such a child without knowing the effect will be more harmful.
Parents are supposed to be flexible and open with schedules. Kids tend to suffer a lot when parents start arguing about visitation schedules in front of them. Even in instances when there is court-ordered parenting calendar and a parent wants to take the kids somewhere, a sense of understanding will be required. Having visitation schedules does not mean that one has to stick to them. Flexibility will be key.
Communication is an integral part of co-parenting. It needs to be purposeful, peaceful and consistent. Parents will need to communicate even when it is apparent that there are obstacles. Proper communication is aided by the fact that it is about the children. Before communicating, a parent should stop to think of how it will affect the children. This way, all communication will be made in the best interest of children and disagreements will be limited. The good thing with proper communication is that it will not be mandatory to meet in person at any given time.
Teamwork is fundamental when co-parenting. This is so since there are a myriad of decisions that will involve both parents. Decisions must be made together even if the parents do not like each other. There needs to be cooperation without blow-ups or hard-line stances. Kids will be exposed to different perspectives which goes a long way in ensuring they are flexible and understanding. Moreover, there ought to be same set of expectation irrespective of where they are so that they do not get confused.
In regard to discipline, parents should have same systems and consequences when rules are broken. This must always be the case even when the infraction happens in the other house. If for instance the kids have TV privileges when they are with your ex, the same should happen in your house. Rewards for good behaviour must also be similar.
Resolution of disagreements should be done in the best way possible. Disagreements are bound to be there and the way they are solved will determine the ensuing relationship. Respect goes a long way. Being respectful and considerate will include letting the ex know about various important events like those at school. Most importantly, the parents should take each others opinions seriously.
For peaceful and effective co-parenting, compromise will play a major role. Sacrifices should come from both partners for the sake of children. Compromise should not feel like one is lesser or disrespected.
Empathy of one of the most important virtues that will help. This involves having both parents put themselves in the position of their children even as they raise them together while living differently. When a child misses the other parent, they should be allowed to freely air their minds. A parent may rebuke such a child without knowing the effect will be more harmful.
Parents are supposed to be flexible and open with schedules. Kids tend to suffer a lot when parents start arguing about visitation schedules in front of them. Even in instances when there is court-ordered parenting calendar and a parent wants to take the kids somewhere, a sense of understanding will be required. Having visitation schedules does not mean that one has to stick to them. Flexibility will be key.
Communication is an integral part of co-parenting. It needs to be purposeful, peaceful and consistent. Parents will need to communicate even when it is apparent that there are obstacles. Proper communication is aided by the fact that it is about the children. Before communicating, a parent should stop to think of how it will affect the children. This way, all communication will be made in the best interest of children and disagreements will be limited. The good thing with proper communication is that it will not be mandatory to meet in person at any given time.
Teamwork is fundamental when co-parenting. This is so since there are a myriad of decisions that will involve both parents. Decisions must be made together even if the parents do not like each other. There needs to be cooperation without blow-ups or hard-line stances. Kids will be exposed to different perspectives which goes a long way in ensuring they are flexible and understanding. Moreover, there ought to be same set of expectation irrespective of where they are so that they do not get confused.
In regard to discipline, parents should have same systems and consequences when rules are broken. This must always be the case even when the infraction happens in the other house. If for instance the kids have TV privileges when they are with your ex, the same should happen in your house. Rewards for good behaviour must also be similar.
Resolution of disagreements should be done in the best way possible. Disagreements are bound to be there and the way they are solved will determine the ensuing relationship. Respect goes a long way. Being respectful and considerate will include letting the ex know about various important events like those at school. Most importantly, the parents should take each others opinions seriously.
For peaceful and effective co-parenting, compromise will play a major role. Sacrifices should come from both partners for the sake of children. Compromise should not feel like one is lesser or disrespected.
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