What is the recipe for a happy marriage , and what is the role of chocolate and chemistry play in a happy marriage recipe ?
Most
people associate chocolate with romantic love, which, in the first
stage of love Helen Fisher , Ph.D. , Scientific Director of the chemical
has studied and written about , which usually occurs before
participants contemplating marriage .
It turns out that chocolate is a molecule in which , PEA , which alerts the brain something exciting to happen.
Dr.
Daniel Amen suggests that black square or two of chocolate could be
part of date night all couples, especially for women whose husbands
cingulate gyrus may get caught .
Do
not get into the intricacies of reasoning Dr. Amen , but I want to show
that research has led us to the brain and its chemicals in the context
of our happy marriage recipe .
Apparently , we are beyond the advice and encouragement of geniuses and gurus of our brain science advice happy marriage.
In
fact, Mr. Fisher has been suggested , based on its analysis of the data
that we human beings are divided into four types of large personality ,
each associated with a hormone or neurotransmitter owners , and our
happy engagement should start with find matches that are chemically compatible .
Now
that is far Ann Landers , advice guru my childhood 's , and it is also
far from Hefner or Guccione model , and also the Disney model of happy
marriage recipe that requires the intervention of the fairy godmother .
Robert Epstein , Ph.D. Dice ...
Recipe
for a happy marriage in India, where marriages are arranged , and
couples can meet once before her marriage , is regular exercise of
intimacy, as "soul searching " or " synchronization heart
rate " which leads to a successful marriage , with increasing levels of
happiness in 95 % of marriages in India , even if the divorce is an
option. Our marriages are not close to that level of success.
John
Gottman , Ph.D., another researcher with a lot of experience in the
study of marriage has created a workshop entitled " The Art and Science
of Love" , where couples can buy and do for them - same . workshop takes couples through many exercises and videos that I find very similar to what Professor Epstein describes .
Gottman
shot his exercises to observe what the Masters of wedding do in
relationships that makes the relationship work , and also speaks a
recipe for an unhappy marriage based on the number of times you see
expressions of contempt, defensive , criticism and obstructionism .
Recipe for happy marriage heartbeat ...
I was very intrigued to read the ideas of Mr. Epstein on synchronization heartbeat. I did it with programs couples using biofeedback of heart rate variability .
It
turns out that people can learn to regulate our physiology heartbeat
heartbeat because our heart has its own brain , in fact a very
sophisticated nervous system , which sends a lot of information on the
brain how
we feel and the heart brain is affiliative and cooperative , which is
an excellent platform to reach our physiological recipe happy marriage.
I
taught members of couples make the heart rate variability biofeedback,
and they gathered to work on the heart rate of marriage. I
connect computers in tandem, I have to get consistent individually ,
then meet to see what emerges from their computer screens .
Effectively
if you visit their own internal coherence, then a heart beat of the
relationship arises which is like a third time in and out of coherence
on the basis of what people think.
Most
couples are surprised to discover that their relationship has a
heartbeat, which turns into and out of coherence so quickly and so often
, and can make small internal adjustments that have a large impact on
the happiness two participants.
The
variability of the heart rate has many other applications for decision
and golf test , just to name two , and work place stress management .
So it seems that science contributes to determine the physiology and chemistry and the heartbeat of a happy marriage recipe.
But we still have to stir and cook the dish.
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